Review: You are Awesome by Neil Pasricha
by H. Murray, Oct. 11, 2019.
In late August, corpßonore was approached about writing a review of Neil Pasricha’s new book, You are Awesome: How to Navigate Change, Wrestle with Failure, and Live an Intentional Life. This title appealed to us right away, and based on our past book review history (namely, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance), we jumped at the chance.
The book arrived on the afternoon that I didn’t win an audition. I drove home to find the book in my mailbox and smirked to myself that it is the perfect time to receive a book about resilience. I'm not sure if his team knew what my schedule was like and timed it perfectly or if this was a cosmic sign to keep on trucking. Anyways, it was a treat to come home to, and I started reading immediately.
Pasricha is the author of five other books, including The Book of Awesome, and The Happiness Equation. He also hosts a podcast called 3 Books. In You Are Awesome, he divides the book into nine chapters, each covering a different way to build a more resilient life. Each chapter presents a seemingly simple perspective shift that makes failure seem comfortable, commonplace, and uncomplicated. He talks about shifting the spotlight away from yourself, adding an ellipsis to the end of the story you tell yourself, reframing the situation in terms of the bigger picture, and more. When I finished the book, I was almost excited to fail another audition. I'm kidding, of course, but I more easily understood the role of failure in success. I had a better perspective of how to handle myself and my feelings when I didn't get the answer I hoped for. I knew more keenly that one must fail many times to build resilience and find success. Granted, I knew this deep down, but the tone of this book is optimistic and bright, making you feel more buoyant in anticipation of failure.
The performing arts are rife with rejection, and resilience is something we need to cultivate continually. What is resilience? Resilience is how we build failure resistance, how we prevent small setbacks from overwhelming and derailing our overall goals. Pasricha notes in the introduction that resilience in the modern world is in short supply because many of us have not lived through major wars, famines, etc. He points out that living this overall comfortable life has lead to not having the tools and skills necessary to handle failure.
I’ll be honest. In general, I have spent many years of my life trying to avoid failure. I didn’t reach high enough because I was afraid of the rejection. Now I look back and think, "what if?" or "could I have?" more often than I would like. If I had known the importance of cultivating resilience back when I was applying for college or auditioning for summer festivals, or who knows what else, where would I be now? That is the lesson I wish I had learned and one of the main points of this book. Being more resilient leads one to reach higher and push further than the comfort zone and not feel ultimately defeated by a rejection or two (or fifty) along the way.
This book is easy to read and anecdotal. It is not heavy and stuffed full of research. I mean, it is, but not in a way that makes you yawn or avoid reading. Pasricha draws on personal experiences from a range of different scenarios to illuminate the nine main points of his points. He talks about failed website ideas, the self-talk at his first full-time job, the problems in his first marriage, and even his parents have a chapter or two. I dog-eared a few pages and took some notes so I would remember quotes and poignant tales to revisit when I am feeling less than resilient. It is an easy and enjoyable read. Everyone should peruse these chapters at some point, especially if high-stress performances, or stepping out of your comfort zone, are part of your chosen path. While none of the chapters or secrets are explicitly about musicians, the lessons are easily applicable to our lives and struggles. I know it helped me shift my perspective after I finished reading this the first time. I was eager to see failure as something that I must do, rather than something I must avoid.
You Are Awesome is officially available on November 5th, but you can preorder it on Amazon now. Treat yourself to a little light, but seriously helpful reading that will put you in the mood to fail so that you can ultimately succeed.