A Bit of Sanity for Insane Times: Taking Care of Your Mental Health During the Pandemic
by Bill Harrison MA, LCPC. June 15th, 2020.
On March 13th Chicago's Lyric Opera announced it was canceling all its upcoming performances of Wagner's Ring Cycle, scheduled to begin a month later. Management let its contracted musicians know they were going to be paid for the full season but that the freelance musicians who'd been hired for the nearly month-long series of Ring performances would not. Members of the orchestra met and decided to take a pay cut so the freelancers could be paid.
And that, my friends, is the end of the good news from Pandemic Central.
There's no way to put it delicately. It sucks to be a musician right now. I should know. I'm a psychotherapist who previously spent forty years as a professional bassist. I lived through the tailspin the music biz endured after 9/11 and the precipitous drop in work during the economic collapse of '07-'08. Over half of my current clients are performing artists, mostly musicians. They, perhaps like you, are going snow-blind staring at their gig-free calendars.
So if you're depressed, welcome to the club. If you're anxious, even panicked, about the foreseeable future, you're in excellent company. I realize that the “misery loves company” trope is no panacea but I hope it helps even a teensy bit to realize two things:
1. Though we can't predict how or when, this state of suspended animation willend.
2. You've no doubt survived your share (or more if you're especially lucky) of challenges. This means you're resilient and will overcome this trial too.
One of the most obvious difficulties you're probably facing is the loss of income. If you've got a regular gig with a well-heeled organization (say, Lyric Opera Orchestra) and you're still on the payroll, bravo. I suspect, however, that most folks reading this are among the vast pool of freelance players, ahem, independent contractors, whose well has run dry. If you happen to have other source(s) of income and are still able to bring in some of that green energy, good on ya. Ditto if you have parents or a partner who are willing to help keep you housed, clothed, and fed.
I'm not qualified to offer you financial advice so I won't go there. Instead, I want to dig a little deeper into the emotional/psychological losses you may be experiencing – and offer a few suggestions on staying sane during these insane times.
The word that keeps coming up with my musician clients during the pandemic is grief. If someone close to you has lost their life or is currently ailing due to COVID-19 or any other cause, you know what it means to grieve. Grief takes other forms as well.
Artists in general are empathic; we observe what's happening around us, absorb it, and feel the consequences. Right now our country is in the throes of several waves of trauma: the health effects of the coronavirus, the multiple impacts of sheltering in place, economic loss, and the exacerbation of the divisiveness we've witnessed in our political landscape for the past three years. Add to this the public outcry in the aftermath of George Floyd's murder by Minneapolis police officers and you have a perfect storm of anger, disbelief, alienation, sadness, discouragement, loss of control, terror, and frustration – all of which are aspects of grief.
Playing music allows you to express your emotions, to channel them in creative, healthy ways. Once that outlet is removed by circumstance you can't control, the flow that normally sustains your mental health is interrupted. You still absorb and feel but now those emotions have nowhere to go. They become stuck. You internalize them. You can easily become overwhelmed.
What musicians are missing, of course, is the experience of assembling with your colleagues in an ensemble and making joyful noises together at the same time in the same space. This inability to congregate robs musicians of more than the creative benefits. Your colleagues are your friends; they get youin ways that civilians can't. Connecting on FaceTime or Zoom is a welcome alternative but it's no substitute for the basic human need for affiliation, that is, real connection with the people who matter the most to you.
When you can't do the things that give your life meaning and purpose the natural consequence is a disruption in your identity. Certainly, every person has multiple identities, which may include spouse, child, partner, parent etc. But being a musician is so much more than a job; it's the thing you've trained for your entire life; it's your passion; it's a fundamental part of how you see yourself in the world. Without the ability to actively participate in the practice of your craft, it's hard to sustain the sense of an integrated self. It's as if your bones have been removed from your body. There's no longer a solid structure supporting all the rest of who you are.
Now that we've identified some of what might be going on for you, here are a few ways you can manage some of the troubling effects of the pandemic:
Maintain a daily schedule. Most people thrive with a regular routine. Even if you can't go to work, I suggest you set up specific times for things like cooking, exercise, laundry, housework, meditation or prayer (if you practice either) etc. The abyss of “nothing to do” can be anxiety-inducing. Try your best to adhere to a normal sleep schedule. Good sleep is essential for mental health, especially with regard to depressive symptoms.
Breathe. I know, I know, everyone swears by deep breathing. When I was told to practice breathing years ago I thought, “Yeah, that's b.s. How's breathing going to help?” Well, there's solid evidence that doing what I'll call breathing with a purposecan significantly lower your anxiety. There's lots of techniques out there that work well, but here's one that's easy to remember and implement, courtesy of the estimable Andrew Weil, MD. He calls it The4-7-8 Exercise.
1. Choose a tempo. I recommend mm=80 as a place to start.
2. Inhale for 4 counts.
3. Hold it for 7 counts.
4. Exhale for 8 counts.
5. Repeat 3-5 times. If you feel light-headed at any point, stop. We're not going for hyperventilating here. Check in with your body; my prediction is that you'll feel a lessening of tension and anxiety immediately. You can do this as many times a day as you like, including when your anxiety spikes.
Chill on the caffeine. I love my morning coffee too, but if you're trying to decrease your anxiety, reducing or eliminating caffeine will help. This is especially important if you're having trouble sleeping.
Keep an eye on your alcohol/substance of choice usage. Having a drink to relax is fine. If you suspect you may be using substances to mask your depression, ask a close friend or family member if they've observed any changes along those lines in your behavior. Believe what they tell you, even if you don't want to hear it.
Titrate your news and social media intake. This is a hard one for many of us. We feel like we're being bad citizens if we don't keep up with current events. FOMO is as much of a pandemic as COVID 19, though it probably won't put you on a ventilator. Be mindful of how much time you spend scrolling your news/Facebook/Twitter/Instagram feeds. And, speaking of mindfulness…
Start a meditation practice. If you don't already have one. You don't have to sit on a mountaintop six hours a day to benefit from meditation. As little as 5-10 minutes daily will have a positive impact on your body and mind. If you've never meditated before, there are apps for that. Two of my faves are Headspace and 10% Happier.
Do something creative. Play, sing, compose, write the Great American Novel, make a video… You're a creative person; it's likely to be helpful to remind yourself of this regularly. Many musicians are able to practice and have found myriad ways to keep their internal artistic fires burning. One of my clients has posted solo improvisations on Facebook for seventy-five consecutive days. Others have created virtual ensembles and accomplished amazing things. One I especially like is the Sting, Jimmy Fallon, and The Roots collaborative rendition of “Don't Stand So Close To Me” – check out the guy playing scissors! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbZtFKgqXIs) All that said, if you don't have the emotional wherewithal to do any of this, give yourself permission to relax. Putting pressure on yourself to “perform” when you're not feeling up to it is probably not going to help.
Connect with friends and family. Again, not anything you haven't heard. But this is not a trivial suggestion. As I mentioned before, our need for affiliation is real and strong. If you find yourself isolating, that may be a sign of depression. Reach out if you can.
Actively engage your mind. Play games, read, do crosswords or Sudoku or video games. Movies, TV, and podcasts are OK but we consume those media passively. Your brain needs exercise too.
Listen to music you love. 'Nuff said.
Pay attention to your emotions and moods. At the risk of sounding like a broken record (remember records?), anxiety and depression are two of the most common reactions we can have to the jumble of uncertainty all of us are facing at this moment in our history. Whatever you're feeling, acknowledge it. Give it a name. If you take antidepressants or other psychoactive medication, now is not the time to skip doses or neglect to refill prescriptions. If you feel despair, hopeless, or helpless, reach out to your therapist or a trusted friend. If you're feeling actively suicidal, call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
It's June 10th as I write this and, sadly, musicians around the country still have no certainty about when it will be safe for rehearsals and public performances of any kind to resume. But I can report two recent glimmers of hope. I just received an email about an upcoming outdoor gig featuring a local jazz quartet. Both musicians and audience will be social distancing and wearing masks. Earlier today a client told me that two colleagues of his are doing a show from someone's porch this weekend. These are both bona fide paying gigs. It ain't the CSO or Lollapalooza but there's a bit of positive movement happening. Here's hoping things continue to improve. In the meantime, be well.
BIO
Bill Harrison is a psychotherapist who works primarily with performing artists in Chicago. You can learn more about him on his website, www.billharrisontherapy.com.